Rediscovering Scuba Diving - A Healing Journey

The truth is I am tired and am suffering from serious writers block. I am struggling with expressing myself- I feel disconnected from myself and it sucks. However, I have a schedule to keep here on the blog and forming the habit of being more consistent is more important than my ego. Elizabeth Gilbert , Author of Eat Prey Love and Big Magic says "Done is better than perfect". I am allowing that to give me permission to press on. Luckily, blogging allows me to be human and just put the truth out there with the hope that my human experience resonates with my readers. 

Here we go...

I discovered the all consuming bliss of floating under the sea only hearing the sound of bubbles and observing colourful and interesting aquatic life the summer after I turned 16. That was the year I learned to scuba dive. Some say that diving is the closest you can come to flying.

Fast forward to now, 13 years later, a time where we are constantly connected, answering messages, updating and consuming social media, checking stats, it is truly a challenge to disconnect and connect with yourself. Personally I constantly feel tugged and in a state of unrest for the majority of my waking hours. One of the ways I ground and become present is on the mat when I practice yoga, or listen to a guided meditation (which does not happen as often as it should).

In an article I recently read (admittedly only partially) entitled Splendid isolation: 50 amazing holidays to escape the modern world I was reminded of why I first fell in love with scuba diving . Sarah Baxter, the author of the article ever so eloquently penned

Solitude is the state of being alone, but not of loneliness; that luxury of time and space spent free from external pressures, to just think or be. Solitude is the positive side of isolation; a restorative break from our busy, bustling, overloaded world.

As fate would have my friend Robin, a dive instructor at Aquanauts Grenada, who knows I have not been diving for over a decade asked whether I would like to rediscover scuba diving and document my experience. I eagerly agreed.

Why has it taken me 13 years to get below the surface again? Well, several reasons...

1. Scuba diving is not exactly cheap for a teenager or a uni student on a  skin tight student budget

2. Even when I could afford it I genuinely forgot how much I loved it

3. I once dove and forgot to open my tank properly- resulting in me being unable to breath while 15 feet underwater.

Let's explore reason number 3- the most dramatic of the lot. In my teenage mind opening a gas tank fully and then turning it back half a wrist turn equated to opening a gas tank half way. Kids...don't do that! It is not the same- please perform the 2 step process as you are told by your instructor. 

So there I was underwater- gauge showing a full tank but my lungs and mind slowly catching up to the fact that I had very limited air. I was able to communicate to my dive buddy that I needed to use of of her air and we came up to the surface. Mysteriously my gage showed a full tank so back down we went and like dejavu the whole scenario repeated itself.  We finally got to the bottom of it. That was my last dive.

In all honesty I told myself for years that the first two reasons were why I stopped diving. Fast forward to a few weeks ago I excitedly sat on the Aquanauts boat on my way to rediscover scuba diving. I check my gear, put on my suit and jumped into the emerald waters at Flamingo Bay. I felt a little nervous that the heavy gear would sink me to the bottom of the ocean but I moved past the fear.

As we began our descent into the inviting ocean I felt pangs of panic- I was afraid that I could not breath. I was not equalizing properly and felt some pressure in my head. I now know what people mean when they say they feel claustrophobic when diving. Even in the wide and wild expanse sometimes you can't get out of your own head.

I signaled to Robin that I needed to come back to the surface and explained my fear to him. He check my gauge and tank and reassured me that the gear was fine. As we went down he stayed right in front of me and motioned deep breaths by opening and closing his arms slowly. It worked. We made our way down and explored Flamingo bay with our dive buddy. We observed the enchanting life under the ocean with curious eyes. I saw fishes going about their lives darting in and out of the colourful reef and touched sea bush (I don't know the actual name but it felt really nice to stroke it gently).

Diving is an amazing way to simply be. I am the queen of starting a million things and attempting to divide my energy between several tasks at once. It is mentally exhausting and it is not a very effective way to do life. When you dive you are forced to mono task- a rarity in these times.

I received some healing under the ocean that day. I confronted a mental and emotional personal wound I never properly acknowledged. When we don't acknowledged our wounds we neglect to tend to them. A neglected wound we can't truly heal.

Have you discovered any neglected wounds? How have you tended to your healing? Leave a comment or send me a message. I would love to hear your story.

You can find out about Aquanauts and all their dive programs over on their website:
www.aqaunautsgrenada.com
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