Monday, December 29, 2014

Honesty and Courage for 2015

Annya Kai Art found on Pinterest 

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.”  

- Lewis Carol, Alice in Wonderland 

At the close of 2013 I declared that 2014 would be a year with no self imposed limit, it would be a year where I would remain open to the infinite possibilities of life. It has become a tradition of mine to set an intention at the start of each calendar year. The intention is usually inspired by some lesson I learned in the past year that I would like to explore and adventure through to enrich my life and to evolve into a wiser and more joyful version of myself.

Infinity 2014 has been a beautiful year. It was in exploring beyond imagined boundaries that I discovered that there is a need to be honest, authentic and courageous if I wanted to grow and blossom. Although I had set the outright intention to live limitlessly I was and probably still am holding on to fears and ideas that no longer serve me. The fear of letting go caused numbness, I was ignoring myself in the chase for achievement and applause.  The moment I let go of the what ifs and shoulds and was honest with myself and others I felt light and free. There was no longer an inner struggle, there was harmony.   

It takes courage to be honest with yourself, to make a truthful assessment of what makes you happy and not what should make you happy. The journey to living authentically is not smooth and it is certainly confusing.  Your family, your friends, your teachers and mentors, the media and THE WORLD will all suggest (read tell) of how you should live your life, what you should strive for and what will bring you ultimate happiness.  We all know what is on the checklist: an education (preferably from a University…in the “right field”…not one of those useless degrees), a career ( preferably one where you are sure to make an enviable amount of money), a spouse (preferably one that has achieved the first two items on the checklist) and things (the latest, the greatest and preferably the more expensive and flashy)…but what if you have ticked off all these items and cannot recognize your own life. Life is too short to race to the finish line collecting the ticks as you descend down that checklist. Ray Davis tells us  that “Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed you.” 

I remember struggling earlier on this year with a decision I knew I had to make. I had been so caught up in "life" that it was not until I was on vacation that I began to feel the discomfort. As I spent time on my own wondering around unfamiliar streets I also began an internal journey through the neglected corners of my soul. It can be scary when you face yourself. I remember feeling a tension and mourning as I sat quietly in a pew in Gaudi's unfinished masterpiece Cathedral La Sagrada Familia praying for an answer. It is hard to discover your truth when you have bought into the facade of the shoulds and what ifs and it can also be hard to share that truth with the world. We are not the only ones invested in the way we live. Our lives affect the emotional stability of our loved ones too and that consideration has a huge role to play in how we navigate our projected realities.  

Despite these distractions there is always something inside of you that will nag. Do not ignore this indicator. It will feel like a discomfort or a sadness. Sometimes it manifests as being irritable or easily upset or slightly depressed and if ignored long enough it will turn to numbness. Deep down we know what will make us happy, but the relative security of having lived as we are supposed to will keep us prisoner with ourselves guarding at the gate. It takes courage to grab into your own pocket for the keys to the prison cell you have put ourselves in and  step onto the path of living authentically.

I believe that honesty and courage will create fertile soil for the bliss I crave. But that will only be a part of the journey.  It will take discipline and determination to nurture the life I must create for myself, my authentic self.  

“Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.” 
- Eckhart Tolle  


  • What wisdom has 2014 given you? 
  • What are you hopeful for in the new year?
  • Do you make resolutions or set intentions? 
Leave me a comment, lets get this conversation going. 

Friday, December 19, 2014

Morning Things: Light

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you

Don't go back to sleep!"


Lately I have been waking up before this glorious warm light floods my neighbourhood. I love this magical time where all things seem calm and fresh and the day promises so much. I consider myself a morning person (even though my body does not always want to accept that fact). So tonight I share with you some  morning things...LIGHT. 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Fear of Flying

There is freedom waiting for you, 
On the breezes of the sky, 
And you ask “What is I fall?”
Oh but my darling, What if you fly? 


The sound of a plane in the sky would conjure up scenes of a dramatic crash in my head, increase my heart rate and make my palms sweat. Needless to say I had a slightly exaggerated fear of flying. What is a Soul Adventurer to do when she wants to travel the world but just the thought of sitting in a giant metal vessel a zillion feet above the ocean with no place to pull over in the case of an emergency to do? Take nine flight in three weeks…thats what!

I have learned throughout this Soul Adventure called life that fear can keep you right where you are, longing for a more full life but too afraid to live it. They say that on the other side of fear lies freedom, I second that sentiment.  I have discovered that when I have a fear of something I need to confront it in order to be freed of the constraints that the fear has tangled me in.

I have given my fear of flying quite some thought and I have determined it is linked to a fear of giving myself wholesale into the care of another with the risk of a very dramatic proverbial crash, a fear of soaring with no chance to stop until the destination is arrived at. I noticed that the fear was present when the flight was smooth as well as when there was turbulence. It was a general fear that at any moment some slight technical malfunction can send me plummeting to my eventual demise and that  I would have  no chance of saving myself, I would have to accept my fate. It was not until flight number 8 where I began to break ground on acceptance. It was a flight from Gatwick back into the Caribbean with hours of turbulence.

For some of us the fear of falling overshadows the possibility of living fully. We resolve within ourselves that where we are is good enough . We do this because it is safe, familiar and most importantly we buy into this idea that we control most of the variables that will keep harm and suffering at bay. Well, my dear Soul Adventurers I have a secret to share with you, letting your fears hold you back from the infinite and beautiful possibilities of life means that you already half dead. 

This is the wisdom I have gained from facing my fear of flying- my fear of vulnerability. If you want to live a life filled with rich experiences then you need to stop clenching to your seat bathed in cold sweat. Instead you should pear out of the window, appreciate the beautiful sunrise and imagine how it would feel to be caressed by the soft clouds.  We need to develop a comfort with the uncertain and take each moment as it comes. To my mind that is really what a fear of flying is, it is a fear of letting go, a fear of someone or something else having more control over your fate than you. 

Sometimes I have found myself afraid of achieving too much in the fear that I will loose it all. The less I have to loose the better, the lesser the elevation the shallower the fall from grace no? As that plane climbs higher and higher into the clouds, then above the clouds the more I would fear the dramatic downward plummet. The better approach would be to embrace the rise without doing what Wendell Berry has called taxing your peace with the forethought of grief. It is about being present in the beautiful experience and not conjuring up thoughts of how it can all be taken away from you.

It is allowing yourself to anticipate a rise instead of a fall. It is about choosing a positive perspective. We must approach life’s journey not expecting to crash, instead imagine the blissful freedom of flight. Bliss can only be experienced if you invest yourself wholesale- radiant Soul Adventurers…take courage

Peace and Bliss 

Grenada Soul Adventurer