New Moon Musings- Dancing with Your Darkness

Photo by Arthur Daniel

"Flowers teach us that nothing is permanent: not their beauty, not even the fact that they will inevitable wilt, because they will still give new seeds. Remember this when you feel joy, pain, or even sadness. Everything passes, grows old, dies and is reborn. How many storms must I weather before I understand this?" 

- Paulo Coelho , The Spy 

I have this theory that all magic, especially our personal magic, is born out of darkness. Since it is almost New Moon I thought this post was timely.

Think about it- babies are born out of their mother's womb where they grew and mature while nurtured in the darkness. When they are birthed earthside they are fully prepared, once healthy, to live in this world. The new moon is a time where powerful intentions are set for the next moon cycle because the darkness provides us with a blank canvas. Seeds are covered and nurtured while buried in complete darkness to bring forth new life and the stars are more mesmerizing when the sky is at its darkest. 

"If you are really brave your ass is chanting too"

We find ourselves the era of new wave spirituality- where we talk, write, sing and spend a lot of time posting on social media about mindfulness, inner peace, emotional intelligence, meditation, channeling, intuition, new and full moon circles,  creating safe spaces and yoga. It seems like everyone is experiencing a spiritual awakening or ascension of some type. We are all out here resonating and listening to our heart centre while balancing and unblocking our chakras, building altars, reading oracle cards,  lighting candles, strapping lapis lazuli to our throat chakra and dancing around with sage and palo santo. If you are really brave your ass is chanting too, while holding your mala beads breathing in deeply and exhaling the the universal vibration of ommmmmmmmmmmm.

"In the flurry of all this light and goodness the darkness, the inappropriateness, the betrayal and betraying of trust...persists"

In the flurry of all this light and goodness the darkness, the inappropriateness, the betrayal and betraying of trust, the petty, the jealousy, grief and the times we willingly stepped onto someone’s emotional roller coaster or even drag someone onto ours, persists? What about the icky, muddy, stickiness of life that does not seem to want to let up? The shame? Oh the guilt! What about the consequences? The fear of not being loved or even loveable. The loneliness and the crying into your pillow or holding back tears in public spaces? The meltdowns and the tantrums? Yes, grown ups tantrum too! The childhood wounds and the triggers that come along with them?

"The facade melts and all masks fall to the floor."

Do we reject those dark parts of ourselves? Feel ashamed and buy into the illusion of comfort by ignoring them in the hope that one noticed or if they did that they won’t mention it? Silence is a mother fucker yall!  If we did that we would be left with so little of ourselves because of the sheer magnanimous proportions of our denial (unless you are a saint). That is, until the day it all bubbles up and explodes in such a catastrophic way that there would be not hiding, sweeping under the rug or cleaning with baby wipes. The shit would have hit the proverbial fan and the world (well maybe not quite so dramatic) would see us in our imperfect fullness. The facade melts and all masks fall to the floor. Oh ohhhh. What then?

...the conversation is slowly shifting to healing and integration of the “good” and “bad” in certain spaces.

The uncomfortable  truth is, all of it is us, and, the conversation is slowly shifting to healing and integration of the “good” and “bad” in certain spaces. How does this healing look and what happens when we relapse back into fear based actions and reactions? That is what these dark parts are - based in fear and the construct of seperation within ourselves and with others. Was all the loveingkindness meditation and self help reading for nothing? Have we lost our superpowers?

I am still searching for the answers but this is what I have learned thus far:

 "Sometimes it is a fire that builds so much strength within us that the only option seems to be to expel it through our mouths and burn everything within a 10 foot radius just to get some relief."

At the risk of sounding cliche I will proclaim (as many have before me) that this is a journey in which we will need to endure the ebbs of life until things flow again (I read that gem over on the gram). There will be a constant unfolding and discovering of long forgotten wounds that only come to the fore of our consciousness when touched. So significant are these touched wounds that we can physically feel the pain and discomfort.  Sometimes it is a fire that builds so much strength within us that the only option seems to be to expel it through our mouths and burn everything within a 10 foot radius just to get some relief. I have been there. The relief is usually short lived and followed by negative self talk and shame that we did not have a more enlightened and emotionally intelligent reaction.

"At this point you find yourself surrounded by the ashes of your own making. Can things be salvaged?"

I suppose that is where the introspection, the sitting our ass down to look at our shit can help. You know, for the future. At this point you find yourself surrounded by the ashes of your own making. Can things be salvaged? I (and many before me) propose an invitation of all your parts to the party. Couple the dark with the light and let them make love on the dance floor. Let their energies mingle playfully and rhythmically, embracing as they rise and fall without bounds, until eventually they evolve into something breathtaking. We are so profoundly human and complex and the shadows cast are just as valid that the blazing sun. Observe it all lovingly. Because, the greatest disservice you can do is abandon your own self in the process. Love yourselves beautiful Soul Adventurers and remember that you are magic.

Peace and Bliss

Sheba